Turning in

                               Fred, a few days old

 

Over the last few months I have found it increasingly difficult to balance the needs of home and my commitments in the wider world. In particularly I have found teaching my classes to be a huge source of stress and worry. The problem has been, as ever, childcare. This has become ever more problematic as we are now further from the town in which I teach, meaning I have to leave earlier to get their on time, meaning Fred has to be in bed and asleep by en earlier time. Simon's job has also meant that he is very often not home before I have to leave which means I have to spend half my life asking favours of the few people I know around here.

That's not even touching on the Sure-Start ante-natal sessions which are usually late afternoon and pose endless problems with the children.

Fred needs weaning. That would make things a little easier as then at least someone else could feasible put him to bed if necessary. Jack also needs a bit of extra time spent settling him into school. The house needs a lot of time spent on it. Not necessarily in terms of the renovation, but just in terms of organising our belongings a bit better so that we can live in it a little more easily.

And I myself just need a little extra time with a little less pressure to just, well, gather myself a little.

Because of all of these things I have decided to close my classes for the time being. I have not taken this decision lightly, and have sought advice from other Active Birth teachers and friends, but I really feel this is the right thing to do.

So now I have to turn in. Now I have to consciously work at finding a little breathing space, and make sure I use the time in a positive, restorative and progressive way.

I think the first thing I have to tackle is weaning Fred, wish me luck!