I have obviously been thinking a lot about what happened to Finley at school. And I have talked to him about how to be more 'danger' aware, how to spot the danger signs and steer clear. Finley seems to be almost completely unaware of danger, which is a little unsettling as a parent, or at least it should be, and it it when I think of it, but at other times, it's not!
I have an under active danger awareness, and so does my son! Thinking about it I have real difficulty in feeling worried, or spotting potential dangers. In a world where people seem to see rapists around every street corner I seem to have missed out. And I guess my son has as well.
My lack of danger awareness in it's most innocent form gives rise to uncomfortable situations with other parents where they question why I haven't stopped Fin from doing things, or ask the questions about safety that haven't even occurred to me. At it's most serious it has allowed me to walk headlong into seriously sticky situations where luck and luck alone have meant that I'm still here and not on the front cover of a national newspaper.
It is bravery, and to be brave is no bad thing, but to be brave and stupid is disastrous. I am afraid of the dark, but not overly. I fear being near big drops and cliff edges with my children, and can't bear driving along roads with drops on one side, but I have never been afraid of another person, ever.
I think I need to teach my children to become more danger aware, but first I think I am going to have to teach myself.
Fin goes in for his op to straighten his nose tomorrow, and I am afraid for him. I fear for the discomfort he will have to go through, and the horrible experience that is a general anesthetic. And I'm afraid for myself, as I know how gut wrenchingly nerve shakingly upsetting it is going to be to hold his hand and watch him go under.
Pressed Leaf Star Garland
10 months ago